Paranormal Bullies, Jerks and Trolls…oh my!
You can always watch this vlog on my YouTube Channel http://youtu.be/CpDMg87_0dM
I am extremely proud to call myself a paranormal investigator. I am actually doing something with my life that I have wanted TO DO ALL MY LIFE! I am living out a dream and that is very special because I know a lot of people who can’t say that.
But I recently experienced something that I want to share with all of you. Let me start off by saying I am a playwright and theater actress. I have been living that crazy dream for over 15 years. So I have a pretty thick skin. As a writer and actor you learn to build walls to protect yourself from negative comments, like reviews or crappy directors. But one day all my protective barriers crumbled to the ground and that was a very painful experience.
This picture really says a lot. I pulled it from: http://www.nataliedee.com/
You see I don’t hide the fact that I love to wander around old, cold, creepy, dark and abandoned and hopefully haunted buildings, searching for answers from the dearly departed. My family and friends all know what I do. Nerd Alert!!! I even have a license plate bracket on my car pointing out my passion for the paranormal. So it’s no secret to ANYONE especially the folks tailgating me in bumper to bumper traffic on the 101 freeway.
So one day I was at a gas station pumping gas and this guy pulls up behind me and begins s to pump gas as well. I wasn’t paying him any attention, but I can only assume he saw my license plate because he suddenly yell “HEY” at me. Not hello or excuse me, but HEY! Now his introduction should have been the first indication that this guy was going to be an ass!
So he yells “Hey! Are you some ghost hunter or something?” I was excited. I really love talking about what I do. So I turned around, with a big smile on my face and I said “Yes I am.” And that’s as far as I got. Because he started to laugh. He laughed at me and said “That’s stupid” and he turned his back on me.
“That’s…Stupid.” Those two words hurt me more then I thought they ever would. I felt like I was NOT an adult woman, but a CHILD back in GRADESCHOOL and some dumb kid made fun of me and called me stupid. Talk about reliving childhood memories, right?! Anyway I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say or what do, so I did nothing. I quickly got in my car and I drove away. I was so upset that I was shaking and trying to drive at the same time. Note to self, be the best driver on the road that you can be and not a crazy hysterical female, because you have a license plate bracket with your website address on it!
I was so upset that this Jerk made an insensitive comment to a complete stranger. I was also upset at the fact that I let this guy get to me and actually made me feel embarrassed about what I do. Now don’t worry! That emotion only lasted like one minute because then I was absolutely livid that he pissed on my passion. And I was also mad at myself for not standing up for myself. But I am a non confrontational kind of gal so I am actually not surprised.
When I got home I reached out to my paranormal community, via social media, and I asked the question…“what would you have done if you were me?” And the outcome was amazing. I got such great advice not only from my para-peeps but non-ghostie friends as well! Here are some of my favorite comments and suggestions:
Feel blessed that you are not that guy, that you can believe in things that are not necessarily visible to the naked eye, and that you have imagination enough to seek those things that can’t be seen so clearly.
You could have said “I can also find assholes, apparently.”
He’s just ugly inside. Imagine living like that. Be thankful you’re not.
“Kiss my ass” would have an appropriate response.
I would have laughed back. This person would probably refuse to enter such a place because of fear. It takes a lot to do what we do.
And lastly…
Rarely we can’t change others perception of ourselves. It’s hard to let go of ego and not be hurt by others insensitive comments or behavior towards us. Realize that everyone has an opinion and they wont always agree with your yours. Continue to do what you love because in the end, that’s all that matters.
Paranormal researcher, paranormal investigator, ghost hunter, whatever you call it, is sadly still considered taboo to some. It’s a subject that many don’t understand or are afraid of, and that usually brings out the worst in people. Just like religion and politics, just add Ghost Hunter to that list. So there are going to be jerks, bullies, trolls that are going to try to knock you down.
And when it is something that you love, it’s probably going to hurt. I KNOW IT WILL! But know that you aren’t alone. There is a huge community out there just ready to support you. All you gotta do is ask.
And remember…Continue to do what you love because in the end, that’s all that matters.
Happy Haunting!
Visit Kimberly’s Radio show “Haunted After Hours” at www.goingbeyondradio.com/haunted
Jonny 26 April 2014
Hi there. I’m a follower of yours on Twitter and I believe you ar following me too. I read your blog post ‘Bulllies, jerks and trolls. Oh my.’
It’s interesting that you have paranormal details on your car which will no doubt invite inquisitive minds. But I have to say I laughed hard when I read what he said to you. You see I’m Irish and we are born sarcastic and smart arsed. So his comments would have been considered unimaginative and he would have been put in his place. He’s entitled to his opinion of course. I would have probably thanked him for his contribution to the debate on the existence of the afterlife and went about my business. Bottom line is no matter what you do some git is going to have stupid comments to make. I note you say you are an actress. My advice is to treat people like that as a heckler. If someone is heckling your performance you might want to keep a couple of retorts up your sleeve to throw back at them. You’d be amazed at how effective outwitting someone as ill mannered as that can be without lowering yourself to their level.
Here are a couple of links for put downs that have been used by comedians etc. I’m sending you this as inspiration to fight back and keep dignity without getting into an arguement.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/the-best-put-downs-to-silence-hecklers-85552
The one out the above link I found most suitable to the prick at the pum was this: Arthur Smith: “Sorry, I can’t understand what you’re saying… I’m wearing a moron filter.”
http://www.blanketfort.com/juggling/heckling.html
In my own eperience I have had the opposite happen. I have expected people to mock my interest and instead that have actually asked ‘You’re into the paranormal? ‘Oh I have something to tell you’ and they have given me material for my website and provided new areas of research etc. They were thinking that I might mock them and were relieved they had someone to tell. So don’t be put off.
Best of luck
Jonny
admin 13 June 2014
Hi Johnny, Thanks for your wonderful note. Thank you for taking the time to actually write about this subject. I have approved your post for my websites so other can benefit from your wonderful advice!